About Me
by Owl Knight
Summary: Her thoughts when Katsuragi-kun trapped them in the library to force her to write that book. Ah...Did she even win that contest? Shiori-centric


fanfiction -「ABOUT ME

By - Ghost Shiori

Fandom - Kami Nomi

Standard Disclaimer

That world. The one known as reality. It is awful. There are lies that you cannot tell are there. There is corruption. There is evil and sadness and depression and suicide and genocide. It is evil out there. People always think you're a naive little shy girl, but you know that you know more than them. You have always known. Even when those mean, big kids blamed everything on you, you knew that it was better to take the blame rather than to speak.

Speaking was hard then, too. It was so hard just to get your voice out. A-and when it came out, nobody heard you. Ever. It was awful. Being a natural recluse and introvert, you hid yourself.

Now you're better off than those who did not have friends. You had friends. Friends who did not listen to you, but friends nonetheless. They still didn't really listen. People are selfish creatures, after all.

The real fear wasn't those monsters in the shadows anymore. The real fear was the fear of being misunderstood. The fear of people rejecting you. The fear of loneliness, of depression. People revolved around people. Your 'people' ignored you. You wondered if it was if you were too quiet. You wondered if it was because they had better people to talk to.

Luckily you found that beautiful library. You read every book in it. Every word was memorized, not out of boredom, but in appreciation to the thick volumes of classical literature and the flimsy old fairy tales. The fairy tales weren't really kid books when you found the original. You were ecstatic. You developed a love of horror and darkness then. Philosophy and psychology are a favorite of yours as well. Mysteries, though, were now the best.

You glance at the boy, Katsuragi Keima. He was similar to you in that he escaped reality. He was different because he was all digital, all for simplified programming and you were all for analog, all written out, complex and beautiful in it's strange entrancing way that no one else understood.

You are writing a story. You finally figured it out. Your book. It would be about you. The books you've read, the library, and the people. You vaguely remember that kiss. The one the boy sitting near you administered. But did that really happen? You wonder about that small child that has recently been visiting. She must like books a lot.

You still have that fear. The fear of never being heard. Maybe that book you are currently writing will just go into the trash. Maybe it would not move anyone. If it didn't, then it was a disappointment of a book. That meant you failed, something just as scary as rejection and ignorance. Just as scary as apathy. Then again, it might all be irrational.

You wish it would all disappear. People would be surprised by the dark thoughts you have. Maybe it was because you looked innocent and blushed at every indecent thing. You wish people didn't underestimate you.

The strokes of the kanji filling in the blanks were calming. Each book's description was rather vague, weren't they? But you far too many books to give them all long, perfect synopses that they all deserved. You smile a particularly good book is given its turn in your story.

The rest of your thoughts are gone. You don't need them to write. You read all these books. You know all the words, all their knowledge. After each book is given a brief summary, you start to describe the library. Your fortress of paper. Of knowledge. Each hiragana, katakana, kanji fit perfectly together to weave your life. Each tells a small, yet extraordinary part of you.

The end. It has come. What should you say? Your story has not finished. You aren't dead, after all. But the thing that has forced every drop of determination from you to write this book should be the last. The thing that made you so irrational, so unusual, and still made you more normal. Love. Katsuragi-kun.

The very thought still scares you. To tell him was death. Rejection. But it was the perfect ending. Your hand shakes when you write this.

「AND I LOVE KATSURAGI-KUN.

—-

You fell asleep. Katsuragi-kun came and gave you a kiss on the cheek. You flush. NormalNormalNormal. You sigh in relief as you walk home. Nothing weird happened. You come to the conclusion that Katsuragi-kun might like you back in that way. N-nothing too major, you think. But maybe…maybe…you will fall in love with another. And he will go with the person on the other end of his red string of fate.

You aren't naive enough to know you are his soul mate. A nice thought indeed. You just hope your soul mate will make you happy and you will make him happy. A truly nice thought indeed.


End file.
